Ritual 1: Calling in Friendship

Day 1

Calling in Friendship

For those times when you need connection most.

In all honesty, September was a pretty rough month. The full moon in Pisces kicked my ass and left me feeling disconnected, stressed, and confused as I continued to isolate myself from my friends and family, (along with other activities that make me feel grounded and connected). Even with all the tools in my back pocket - sometimes it not so easy to actually use them. As I was mapping out the coming month of rituals, I knew that one of the first ones I should do would have to revolve around connection and friendship - so here we are. 

Now a few notes about what I did for this ritual. Rather than having spell candle holders, I just use a big bowl of salt as my holder - this is perfect for small candles and anything else that I burn like sage and sweet grass since you're able to extinguish it directly in the salt. My mentor is the one who introduced the idea of a salt bowl for rituals, and I've been in love ever since.  

pink candle.jpg

If you're not sure where to get your materials, I generally find that most cities have a witchy shop where you can get crystals and candles, but if you don't have one near by to pick up individual candles, online will do. The spell candles are easy to find online, I bought mine on Amazon for less than ten dollars and you get a TON of different colored spell candles. Crystals on the other hand, I don't recommend purchasing online since you don't always know how they were taken care of or where they came from, so I prefer to buy my stones and crystals from places that I trust. 

As for this actual ritual, I was surprised by the information that came through. I thought that this was going to feel like a manifestation ritual since it technically is, but this actually felt like most of the power was coming from the rose quartz. Instead of it feeling like I was calling in friendship, I was getting hit with memory after memory of times when I was given the opportunity to make friends, but never ended up pulling the trigger or making an effort to build the connection. I was reminded of all the times that were missed opportunities with people who may have - ultimately - been a part of my support system today. I was reminded of how many experiences would have been different for me had I actually worked up the courage to ASK other people to hang out, rather than constantly waiting for other people to do all the heavy lifting.  


My biggest takeaway from this ritual was that I am already surrounded with friends and opportunities to create more connection in my life. The remedy for connection is to set aside any ego thoughts and take more social "risks" because there are huge rewards in connecting with other people. Making friends as an adult isn't how it was in elementary school, and I like to believe that most people are receptive to new connections and friendships.

Alright, so now for the juicy bits... here's the "recipe."

What you'll need:

  • pink candle and holder
  • rose quartz crystal


  1. Carve your name into the candle and light it. 
  2. Hold the rose quartz in both hands and set your intention for what type of friendships you're calling in: someone to confide in, go out with, or just positive connections. 
  3. With conviction and belief, repeat: 

  4. "I want to see and know you in friendship, and in friendship, be seen and heard as well." 
  5. Continue to say this as many times as feels right to you (the original ritual calls for at least 7 times, but do what feels right to you). 
  6. Extinguish the candle once you feel content.

I've been reminded that every time I leave the house, my world is filled with potential friendships - it's simply a matter of taking advantage of all this potential energy by doing something with it. Be that person who asks someone to hang out first. Be that person who asks questions about others and shows interest. Be that person who makes themselves available to connect and collaborate with. 

So much gratitude,

Rev. Sydney Finn