MY ENTIRE BODY MODIFICATION JOURNEY
2017:
I think it’s about time I give you the full story… It all started in 2017, the photo on the left was my “normal” baseline body, before I was hit with a life altering mental health crisis. I won’t go into the full details of that here, but it wasn’t pretty. I had absolutely no desire or intention to lose weight when I took the photo on the left.
The photo on the right was after dropping nearly 30 pounds in under 2 months due to stress vomiting and loss of appetite. While I wasn’t blaming myself for what happened, there was a sense of having “lost” my body, and feeling unrecognizable.
2018 - 2019:
The following years I was primarily focused on regulating my nervous system, going to therapy each week, and getting back to feeling mentally well. Body modification wasn’t really a focus at this point, and I was still struggling to put on the weight that I lost.
2020:
I didn't have a very clear perception of what I looked like in 2020 and these are the most difficult photos to look at, personally. While I don’t look like I need to be hospitalized, this far from being a healthy baseline body weight.
2021:
This was the year that things really began to change. Mid way through the year, I fell back in love with cooking, started taking better care of myself, and October of 2021 was when I did my first round of APEX (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, click here).
MY JOE DISPENZA THEORY:
Even if you don’t personally like Joe Dispenza’s work, you have to admit there’s something remarkable about the spontaneous remissions, vanishing tumors, and people regaining their ability to walk over the course of a weekend. This really got me thinking about what was physically possible for the human body.
During the first round of APEX, I had a lot of free time, space to think, and I was really tired of looking like Skeletor. I was spending nearly 2 hours in meditation each day when the idea came to me: if you can shrink something like a tumor, surely you can grow parts of your body!
This was around the time that I really started to play with the idea of cosmetic energetic body modification. I desperately wanted my boobs back, only this time, I wanted them to be bigger and better than ever! I was not trying to “go back” (which is a mistake in my opinion), I was deliberately creating a new experience with my body.
Over the next few months, I spent a lot of time meditating, experimenting, playing with different processes I was developing, and finding what worked.
2022:
This was the year everything changed.
Toward the end of January 2022, I made the decision that I was going to get serious about body modification, and go all-in on the processes I developed. Within 5 months, my boobs had grown so much that my Instagram audience began speculating whether or not I had a breast augmentation.
Of course, there was a certain amount of breast growth to be expected since I did desire to return to my normal baseline weight. However, once my body came back to being its normal size… my boobs kept growing. In the photo on the right, I am nowhere near my heaviest, yet my boobs were the biggest they had ever been (at that time).
I even asked one of my former sexual partners to be completely honest with me and tell me if I had simply gained weight or if this truly isolated breast growth (he and I had an ongoing relationship for about 10 years, so if anyone knows my boobs at all different weights, it’s him!)
I shared the full story about our conversation last year on my podcast, listen here.
The photo on the right I’m wearing a 34F.
2023:
Okay, let’s talk measurements and what I’m doing now when it comes to body modification.
For reference, my band size has consistently been a 34. The biggest my boobs had ever been was a 34DD, but after the 2017 weight loss I hadn’t fully regained that volume…
In 2020, I wasn’t wearing many bras or measuring myself regularly, but I was about a 34D. It’s possible that at certain points in the year I could have gotten down to a C cup and didn’t know it.
In 2021, I hovered in the 34D range.
In 2022, I began rapidly outgrowing my bras around the summertime. By October I was measuring at 34F, and my goal for 2023 was to get to 34H by the end of the year.
By May 2023 I was measuring at 34H.
As of today, October 4th, I’m measuring at 34I.
Even writing that seems completely absurd, but it tracks when you realize that every inch of growth is a cup size. At this point in time, I have no intention of stopping… and yes, I do have a goal for 2024 but that’s a secret at the moment hehe.
My body modification style this year has been much different, I was much more relaxed and willing to ride the momentum of my own expectation a bit more. My growth this year has largely been a result of expectation more so than processes. I’ve had other body modification projects going on like growing my hair back (that’s a story for another time), and cleaning up some of my self criticism.
I fully intend on focusing more deliberately on breast growth this upcoming year - I will most definitely share the results (get on my newsletter if you want updates - just sign up at the bottom of this page).
This is the same red bra I was wearing in the previous “after” photo.
SLUT MAGIC:
In case you didn’t know, it’s currently Slut Magic season in my corner of the internet! It’s my hub for body modification, pleasure practices, NSFW tutorials, all that juicy stuff! The doors open seasonally - if you’re reading this after the doors are closed, just get on the waitlist!